This is something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time. I didn't feel like I could for so long cause I was afraid I'd cry and wouldn't be able to get through the post. That's not to say I'm much better now, however, I feel like I can say what I want to now. I want to tell you a story. A story about a star that went out way too early. A star that had not even reached it's destination. A bright star that had a wide galaxy open before it and only saw a small section of that galaxy.
In middle school I met a friend of my brother's. He introduced her to me. I thought she was kind of funny sounding. She had a small speech impediment. In middle school I didn't like it so much but over time I grew to think it was cute. I didn't know at the time that she would be such a crucial person in my life. She would be a bright star in the sky that was my life. I saw her again in early high school and at random times due to the fact that she was one of my brother's few real friends. We spent a lot of time together but most of it was lost on me because I was in my own little world while she would play pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with my brother. I found myself getting to know her little by little over time. She was even there when I met who I consider to be my first love. I got brave enough some time after I got into it to introduce her to K-pop. I showed her Girls Generation and she liked them! But she preferred their Japanese songs since she really liked Japanese. I didn't mind. I started seeing her more and more since my brother was spending a lot of time with her and he was the one with a car. We would go to see her at work. She had gone to college and had worked at a Vet Clinic. I loved her dedication. But she still wasn't all the way qualified for the job she wanted and she ended up working at Petsmart. That is where we would go visit her at work. We went to her, I think, 23rd or 24th Birthday Party there were a lot of dogs, we played a lot of Wii games and she got a cool animal nail clipper. She was so happy to get it because it was easy to use and virtually painless for the animal. She was gonna be a groomer. (At the time she was only a bather). But of course, we knew her real dream was to be a Veterinarian. She loved animals. She was the sweetest girl anyone had ever met. She had a kind of connection with the animals too. You could watch her bathe a dog at Petsmart and see that she could practically speak their language. I never saw an animal fight or bite or scratch her. She just had a gift.
Well one summer when I was engaged my fiance wanted to go to Schlitterbahn. My best friend Cyndi had gone with us the year before but was not available this time. But we already had 4 tickets and needed one extra person to go. I ended calling and asking Krystle if she would like to. She checked her schedule and confirmed she was good to go. So we picked her up last that day and headed down to New Braunfels. I sat in front if I remember correctly. That left Krystle sitting in the back with my fiance's brother. They hit it off pretty well. At the park though we split up by gender and Krystle and I spent a large part of the day together.We went on all my favorite rides and got some lunch then went on the wave pool. We went in circles over and over again talking about our dreams of travel and who we wanted to meet and maybe marry. We both wanted to go to Asia. She told me she wanted to marry Gackt. That made me giggle a little. I tried to imagine Krystle marrying Gackt and having babies with him. I imagined how happy she'd be. I honestly never thought I'd see her that happy with anyone else, but I did. She got closer and closer with the brother until she ended up dating him.
I lost touch with her after my fiance and I split. I regret that now more than anything. I would see her online but wouldn't talk to her much if at all. Then I found out she was pregnant. I really shut off then. I was already so sick of everyone I knew getting pregnant. Literally half of the girls I knew at the time were pregnant or had a baby already. I just wanted to shut myself off from it. But I shouldn't have done it to her. It hurts more than anything now that I didn't talk to her when I had so many chances. The last time I had full on conversations with her I was asking to borrow her laptop. She was so gracious. And the last thing said online between the two of us was me saying 'How are you doing?' on July 16th 2013. At that time she was about 4 1/2 months pregnant.
A month and a half later she started seizing and had to be rushed to the hospital. They did an emergency C-section for the baby and Krystle had a brain aneurysm. She passed away the next day. The baby is still alive to this day. But Krystle is gone. I went to her funeral. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Cause it meant admitting she was really gone. To this day I still don't want to admit it. Nor do I want to admit there was nothing I could have possibly done to see that she lived. I will never know.
I wrote this story for two reasons. Firstly to tell it and two to tell everyone reading that I am here for you. I maybe not be as sweet and innocent as Krystle was and continued to be even though she got pregnant. But I will try my best to sympathize. I now know so well that the saying 'Time heals' is true because it is taking everyone that knew Krystle so long to heal. But it's expected. When you lose such a bright star how are you supposed to just let go? Losing someone is not something to be taken lightly. I had seen others lose someone but had not experienced it to that level til Krystle. It is a process. Krystle left us in the end of August 2013. It is now January 2014. I still don't want to believe it sometimes but then it hits me and I cry all over again. Everytime it hits it feels fresh all over again.
I will tell you now why I have Seohyun's picture at the top. Krystle and Seohyun have a lot in common. They are both very sweet and innocent. They are both great role models. They both have sweet, beautiful smiles. And since I saw Krystle looking at Girls Generation and thought about GG and how the girls were I automatically thought if Krystle were one of them she would be Seohyun. Every time I see Seohyun now I think of Krystle.
In middle school I met a friend of my brother's. He introduced her to me. I thought she was kind of funny sounding. She had a small speech impediment. In middle school I didn't like it so much but over time I grew to think it was cute. I didn't know at the time that she would be such a crucial person in my life. She would be a bright star in the sky that was my life. I saw her again in early high school and at random times due to the fact that she was one of my brother's few real friends. We spent a lot of time together but most of it was lost on me because I was in my own little world while she would play pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh with my brother. I found myself getting to know her little by little over time. She was even there when I met who I consider to be my first love. I got brave enough some time after I got into it to introduce her to K-pop. I showed her Girls Generation and she liked them! But she preferred their Japanese songs since she really liked Japanese. I didn't mind. I started seeing her more and more since my brother was spending a lot of time with her and he was the one with a car. We would go to see her at work. She had gone to college and had worked at a Vet Clinic. I loved her dedication. But she still wasn't all the way qualified for the job she wanted and she ended up working at Petsmart. That is where we would go visit her at work. We went to her, I think, 23rd or 24th Birthday Party there were a lot of dogs, we played a lot of Wii games and she got a cool animal nail clipper. She was so happy to get it because it was easy to use and virtually painless for the animal. She was gonna be a groomer. (At the time she was only a bather). But of course, we knew her real dream was to be a Veterinarian. She loved animals. She was the sweetest girl anyone had ever met. She had a kind of connection with the animals too. You could watch her bathe a dog at Petsmart and see that she could practically speak their language. I never saw an animal fight or bite or scratch her. She just had a gift.
Well one summer when I was engaged my fiance wanted to go to Schlitterbahn. My best friend Cyndi had gone with us the year before but was not available this time. But we already had 4 tickets and needed one extra person to go. I ended calling and asking Krystle if she would like to. She checked her schedule and confirmed she was good to go. So we picked her up last that day and headed down to New Braunfels. I sat in front if I remember correctly. That left Krystle sitting in the back with my fiance's brother. They hit it off pretty well. At the park though we split up by gender and Krystle and I spent a large part of the day together.We went on all my favorite rides and got some lunch then went on the wave pool. We went in circles over and over again talking about our dreams of travel and who we wanted to meet and maybe marry. We both wanted to go to Asia. She told me she wanted to marry Gackt. That made me giggle a little. I tried to imagine Krystle marrying Gackt and having babies with him. I imagined how happy she'd be. I honestly never thought I'd see her that happy with anyone else, but I did. She got closer and closer with the brother until she ended up dating him.
I lost touch with her after my fiance and I split. I regret that now more than anything. I would see her online but wouldn't talk to her much if at all. Then I found out she was pregnant. I really shut off then. I was already so sick of everyone I knew getting pregnant. Literally half of the girls I knew at the time were pregnant or had a baby already. I just wanted to shut myself off from it. But I shouldn't have done it to her. It hurts more than anything now that I didn't talk to her when I had so many chances. The last time I had full on conversations with her I was asking to borrow her laptop. She was so gracious. And the last thing said online between the two of us was me saying 'How are you doing?' on July 16th 2013. At that time she was about 4 1/2 months pregnant.
A month and a half later she started seizing and had to be rushed to the hospital. They did an emergency C-section for the baby and Krystle had a brain aneurysm. She passed away the next day. The baby is still alive to this day. But Krystle is gone. I went to her funeral. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Cause it meant admitting she was really gone. To this day I still don't want to admit it. Nor do I want to admit there was nothing I could have possibly done to see that she lived. I will never know.
I wrote this story for two reasons. Firstly to tell it and two to tell everyone reading that I am here for you. I maybe not be as sweet and innocent as Krystle was and continued to be even though she got pregnant. But I will try my best to sympathize. I now know so well that the saying 'Time heals' is true because it is taking everyone that knew Krystle so long to heal. But it's expected. When you lose such a bright star how are you supposed to just let go? Losing someone is not something to be taken lightly. I had seen others lose someone but had not experienced it to that level til Krystle. It is a process. Krystle left us in the end of August 2013. It is now January 2014. I still don't want to believe it sometimes but then it hits me and I cry all over again. Everytime it hits it feels fresh all over again.
I will tell you now why I have Seohyun's picture at the top. Krystle and Seohyun have a lot in common. They are both very sweet and innocent. They are both great role models. They both have sweet, beautiful smiles. And since I saw Krystle looking at Girls Generation and thought about GG and how the girls were I automatically thought if Krystle were one of them she would be Seohyun. Every time I see Seohyun now I think of Krystle.